How to Create Long-Lasting Friendships and Why They Matter

The Meaning of Life!

If there’s one thing in life I will advocate for, it is friendship! Especially for all the 20-somethings out there. At 21 years old, my life can feel all over the place. The search for purpose, the desire to prove, and the need to achieve can feel overwhelming and all-consuming. I think, second-guess, and question what I want my life to be. But not when I’m with my friends! Or maybe we do, together, in a different way. In a way that feels terrifying yet safe. Because even if we don’t know, WE don’t know. And suddenly the thoughts of dinner parties, morning coffees, and mundane things fill the gap that leaves me spiraling to provide myself with purpose, because I find purpose in them.

Why Friendship?

Friendship is something we all strive for, right? Even the most introverted of introverts has surely longed for a friend here and there. But why? What is so important about having a friend? And how? How do we create long-term “I jump, you jump” type friendships? To answer these questions, I have called upon a few friends of my own. Somehow, someway, I was blessed with four friendships that have truly changed my life. Let me introduce you to Camille, Clara, Jordan, and Jo. These girls have been by my side for six years, which is a substantial chunk of time for a 21-year-old girl. They have taught me what it means to be a friend, and a great one at that. Here’s what they have to say about friendship.

Clara

“I think when creating a long friendship, it is important to stay open-minded," said Clara. "As we grow up, we change. If someone is your friend, it shouldn’t matter how different your lives become. Being in their corner and knowing that they are in yours means that they will be your friend for a lifetime.”

“My platonic friendships have really taught me what love means. I think having so much support from my friends throughout my life, especially as a kid, really taught me to value myself as a person. Also, because my friends were so amazing, I have learned that it is really important to show up for the people in my life that I care about. Having friends who encouraged me to try new things or meet new people has benefited my life in unimaginable ways.”

Jordan

“If you want long-lasting friendships, you need to find friends who make you laugh and who you can be yourself around," Jordan said. "It’s important to find people who add to and enrich your life in different ways and to find people who help you live as the best and happiest version of yourself!”

“Honestly, my friends are probably one of the most important things to me in the entire world. My friendships have led to amazing experiences that I will cherish forever. They have helped me to keep a positive mindset throughout my life and have gotten me through struggles/improved my mental state more than anything else in my life.”

Camille

“The most important thing to creating lasting friendships is the ability to provide your friends guidance and support for many different facets of their lives," said Camille. "It's important to be able to keep things light and enjoy each other's humor and then switch to talking about your struggles and deeper thoughts. This allows you to be reliant on your friends in many different ways: a good laugh, fun reminiscing, problem-solving, a shoulder to cry on, etc. My long-term girlfriends in my life have been single-handedly the most important connections and relationships that I’ve ever built. They’ve provided me with all the love, support, reliance, and common interests that I feel like I'll ever need. If I had to choose at this moment, I'd rather live in a big house with my friends over a man for the rest of time!”

Jo

"I think there are several aspects to creating long-term friendships," Jo said. "First, to be lucky enough to find people who make friendship feel easy. Second, being consistent in talking with your friends even when you aren't living in the same place. My friendships have impacted my life in ways I couldn't have even imagined. Spending most of my childhood constantly moving, always having contact with my best friends really got me through the loneliness of moving. My friendships are my most cherished relationships in my life, and I cannot imagine who I would be without my best friends."

I hope these words inspired you to cherish and nurture your friendships! Remember, building friendships takes time and effort, but it should never feel like a chore. This effort should feel easy and come from a genuine desire to better your friend's life, not from obligation. Go be a good friend, and I promise you will get the same in return.

Be Well, Auburn.